My Immortal By BriarBaneRose
by BriarBaneRose
Summary: Well guys here's another yet another commentary fanfic on the oh so popular story My Immortal. Hope you guys enjoy this goffic story, please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclamer: I'm very pleased to announce that I do not own this story, but It's sad to say that Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling.**

A/N: Well here's another commentary of My Immortal, my friend is doing one at the moment and she convinced me try give it a try, so here it goes.

Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)**(I find it extremly sad that I actually do get it, but still it's not funny)** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) **(Thanks for clearing that mix up, never knew there was something wrong with it, but i'll let it slide)...(and I would use EW for another thing, but I think it's noticeable) **

raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling**(I'm afraid to know what her grammar's like)**. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2**(Ahh, cute) **! MCR ROX! **(I can yell out random things too FAINTING GOAT!)**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way **(Dementia is a form of Alzheimer's...That explains alot)** and I have long ebony black**(why put two colors that mean the same thing)**hair (that's how I got my name)**(OK. My hairs dark brown...kind of happy that my mom didn't name me after that)** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid**(I wonder what that looks like)** tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee**(Ya I don't think so, that would be like an insult towards her.)** (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!.) **(Calm down, some people just don't know who she, it's not really a bad thing)** I'm not related to Gerard Way **(Thank God for that)**but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **(Ew, you know he'd be your brother right)** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. **(That must be hard to use when it comes to bitting people, they probably just get annoyed after a while, it's like having an elderly person just gumming at your neck)** I have pale white skin. **(Vampire Tanning Salon, I can see that now)** I'm also a witch,**(Great)** and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England **(Scotland, maybe there's a chance that she'll just get lost and they won't be bothered by her)** where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen) **(Judging by your grammar...I feel bad for her professors)**. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) **(Random Statement ''I'm a purple turtle.''... and ya you pointed that out a few times)** and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. **(Kind off insulting actually Gothic people and non Gothic people who shop their.)** For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots **(We don't need a visual on it, we can figure that out ourselves)**. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation **(Vampire = being pale, meaning you don't need foundation, and the only foundation she needs is '...' i'll let you guys think whatever you want here)** black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **(Love that kind of weather, it's possibly called wet snow or hail, reminds me of Canada just a bit, gotta love my country :P )** so there was no sun **(No shit)**, which I was very happy about **(ya because if it was sunny you would die, which ruins everything for everyone Merci) **. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **(Probably wondering why you're there, I wouldn't just look at you...maybe throw a couple of spells, come on guys it's time to practice.)**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! **(Poor thing)**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **( A very stimulating conversation huh! I couldn't even follow that.)**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **(That's it...why am I complaining)**

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **(Trust me you don't want to know what I think...)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclamer: I don't own this story and Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling, this will be the last disclamer.**

A/N: Just for a bonus, me and my friend showed this to our English teacher just to see what she would say... Well let's just say she couldn't even look at it for long without getting a headache. It was really sad, not to mention she would have officially given her an R if this would've been a essay.

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! **(I have a feeling she didn't do much to begin with)** BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!**(Meh, leave them alone what did you expect anyway)**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom.**(Why don't I ever wake up in my bedroom? I don't really find that fair)** It was snowing and raining again **(Damn weather)** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. **(wow it's like extreme makeover coffin edition)** I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. **(why else would you be wearing it in the morning)** Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears,**(hmm I always wondered where earings went)** and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.**(theres different kinds of messy bun hairstyle?)**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) **(OMG No Way!) **woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots.**(we don"t really need to know what you're wearing every second of the day)** We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation **(again with the white foundation, you do remember that you're PALE)** and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **(OMFG! I still can't even believe it)**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **(No need to yell)**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me. **(Probably heard you guys screaming)**

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **(Hmm I don't see how she has a crush on him)**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **(A Pureblood Wizard, Son of Lucious Malfoy whose a Death Eater, and nephew of Bellatrix who also spent his life being raised in Voldemort's plans and goals, knows about Good Charlotte a muggle band... Seems kinda odd. Not to mention that it's going to be held in Hogsmeade.)**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I _love _GC **(How did I miss that)**. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.**( is that the reason why you screamed OMFG!)**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped. **(I gasped to when I realised this was only the second chapter, LOVE the cliffhanger though...)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!**(I give you guys a pat on the back, good job)** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws!**(and as for you guys...why would you let her continue with this behaviour...setting her up for false goals tsk tsk tsk)**FANGS AGEN RAVEN! **( ahaha still not funny) **oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.**(Thank God for that)**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels.**(hmm k)** Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front**(ya we understood what you meant by corset)**. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky.**( love that hairstyle, I love wearing my hair curly and straight, letting it flow down my back yup...)**I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.**( when I get depressed I shoot myself in the ear, it's a good way to clean them, why bother using q-tips they can get stuck, why would I risk that)** I read a depressing**(you're already depressed, why make it worse)** book while I waited for it to stop bleeding**(aren't you a vampire, shouldn't it heal right away)** and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS **(OK!)**of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation**(Sooo now she notices it, kinda slow there kiddo)** because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood **(I love keeping random people in my room too)**so I was ready to go to the concert.**(Brush your teeth, blood breath)**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.**(Again...he's a Pureblood...and why pollute use apparition, or floo powder)** He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), **(lovely)** baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok. **(meh it depends really...)**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.**(why the exclamation mark if you're depressed...it's like saying "I'M DEAD!" I said depresingly)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz**(I wonder how they got up there)** (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert**(lazy)**. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson.**(Hogsmeade isn't that far is it)** We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.**(WHILE DRIVING...you're going to lose some demerit points)** When we got there, we both hopped out of the car**(more like leaped out probably)**. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage**(I always thought that a mosh pit was like a mile away from the concert itself)** and jumped up and down**(the frog dance)** as we listened to Good Charlotte.**(Wow the actual band showed up to the concert, I love when that happens)**

"_You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." _sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).**(again thank God)**

"Joel is _so _fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung**(why distract him like that)**, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.**(ahhh he'll get over it)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music.**(wow talking and moshing at the same time that's talent)** Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.**(atleast she emphazised it, because if she hadn't I would be at a complete loss)**(

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.**(ahh draco acting sensitive and protective sounds OOC) **

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.**(soo if he wasn't then you'd be with him? like that would happen in the first place...wait a blonde face i wonder what that looks like)**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco.**(so much for a correct phrase structure)** After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled**(they crawled back into it? first they do drugs and drive now they drink and drive, wonderful role model there kids)** back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!**(was that suppose to have some sort of dramatic affect...cause it didn't work.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY**(looks like the dementia is starting...how do you forget your own characters name. Ok nevermind she forget how to properly spell so forgetting her character's name isn't that big of a deal)** nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!**(down sheba)**

(still with the 666, well i'm not going to get my hopes up)

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"**(probably realised what a nuisance you are and will properly dispose of you...am I getting my hopes up again?)**

Draco didn't answer **(ahh so he doesn't talk while he drives but does drugs and drink alcohol)**but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it**(I wonder if he actually landed the car or maybe he has really strong legs to handle that kind of drop.)**. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.**(why is she so angry?)**

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts)**(what a sigh of relief, I was so wrorried he was possessed by Voldemort for a moment there)** which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.**(wow that's like saying throwing kittens at sick kids and making rude gestures to nun's make you ecstatic)**

And then… suddenly just as I **(ahh she kissed herself)**Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me**(is she laying down now?)** and we started to make out keenly**(meaning sharply...I guess making out can be dangerous now)** against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes**(it's like the case of the disappearing items of clothes)**. I even took of my bra**(Noo :O)**. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what**(kindergartners can say those words...come on kiddies let's say it together 'penis'...and 'vagina'...if not those words theres more of them to chose from)** and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! "**(kinda reminds me of santa claus)** I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm**(might I remind you that you're a vampire?**. And then….

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"**(Dumbledore swearing, sure he seems like an odd ball...well he is but would he swear I hightly doubt it.)**

It was….Dumbledore!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr!**(no more like people who wanted a story that was well written and not a load of crap)** Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache**(wizards have a potion for that)** ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!**(doesn't really seem like he would mind that much, and how loud were they? he's in his office... in a tower...how does that work out?) **PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!**(good luck with that)**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.**(that phrase makes no sense what so ever, I wonder if they put their clothes back on)**

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.**(cool a rapping Dumbledore)**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid**(Wow she actually got something right)** face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.**(I would too, if I was woken up by you)**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces**(mediocre dunces...)**?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.**(yes how dare you)**

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"**(ha. he shrieked, poor thing is going through puberty all over again)**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."**(that's it)**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels.**(why is she wearing high heels to bed)** When I came out¼.

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there**(I wouldn't complain if I found him in my room)**. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

AN: shjt up prepz ok!**(how can she know if there preps or not...and i'm sure it's not only them bad mouthing your story)** PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!**(thank god, better not be getting my hopes up kid)**

The next day I woke up in my coffin.**(so much for leaving her at the bottom of the lake)** I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black.**(why do we have to know about everything you wear, you might as well list us your whole wardrobe)** I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears**(ouch you put crosses in you ears, that must of hurt... poking a non existing brain can cause a lot of damage you know)**. I spray-painted my hair with purple.**(spray painted your hair...really you have a wand you know)**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal**(just because you're a vampire doesn't mean you have to something that has to do with your kind)** with blood instead of milk**(Yum)**, and a glass of red blood**(red blood...how does that work out because my bloods yellow)**. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.**(ah well)**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glassesB**(was he wearing some a second ago.)** anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore**(so much for a orignal character, sounds kind off un attractive if you ask me)**. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent.**(good to know, I always wondered what kind of accent they had)** He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.**(because that made sense in the first place...how does a girl get an erection in the first place? paint an odd picture doesn't it)**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned. **(someone seems bi polar _"sorry if that offends anyone")_**

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.**(weird fetish)**

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **(wow emotions are just flying of the walls here)**

"Well, I _am _a vampire." I confessed.**(I still have trouble believing that)**

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared. **(down girl down)**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **(that all happened kind of fast, not that i'm complaining or anything)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws.**(who are these people who actually like this story)** n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons!**( what's a god vons)** STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U!**(I don't think they'll do anything after they see what you've been writting, just saying)** Evony**(changed her name again I see)** isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS**(so all satanist are bad, I admit I read a book about it and had to do a religion presentation...it's not that bad they aren't walking around with torches and knives killing people)**! n she has problemz shes depressed 4**(my mom has depression...thanks for insulting her)** godz sake!**(no for your sake be happy no one knows where you live, i'll burn that computer of yours down and leave you a dictionary)**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish**(i'll be changing that to 'they were wearing rainbow unicorn with sparkles and fairy nail polish' sorry draco)** as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?) **(sounds more like someone who has psychological problems to me)**. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes.**(doesn't that sound cheery) **I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.**(that you're with draco or that draco is with you)** Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then¼¼¼¼ **-(what's with those)**

We started frenching passively**(passively...ya that make total sense keep going)** and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically**(careful you don't want to poke your eyes out)**. He felt me up before I took of my top**(didn't he take your clothes off a minute ago)**. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants**(again you guys did that enthusiastically)**. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine**(that explains the erection you had a while ago when talking to 'Vampire')** and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)**(what were we being stupid about?)**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo**(well doesn't that ruin the mood, didn't you notice it before...when he was either wearing a t-shirt of when you guys were in the forest)** I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words¼¼¼¼ Vampire!**(OMG no!)**

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.**(why is that something to freak out about?)**

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"**( -_-' really maybe blood poisoning or something but AIDS...only if the guy re used the needle)**

I put on my clothes all huffily**(hehe huffly puffly hufflepuff)** and then stomped out.**(stomp stomp stomp)** Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what**(ok...kind of random don't you think)** but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.**(wow I think I'm actually going to burst brain vessels soon)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!**(again with the same author's note, I can't even think of anything to say,how sad)**

XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.**(hmm I'm really sure that he would never do that, who would in the first place)**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.**(pretty sure that someone can't scream sadly)**

My friend B'loody**(what can't write the word bloody now?)** Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly**(that doesn't really make sense in this sentence or maybe it's just me)**. She flipped her long waste-length gothic**(you don't have to put gothic you know...well then I guess my cat has white gothic fur)** black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood**(noooo crimson isn't even close to the color red _*she said sarcasticly*)_** that she was wearing contact lenses on**(ya you don't need to tell us anymore we can figure that on are own)**. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on**(soo she's wearing white foundation even though she's pale wow it's like another you)**. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires**(I thought vampires couldn't reproduce...because they're dead)** and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it**(ya because everyone in your story are depressed)**. She still has nightmares**(she was kidnapped when she was born how can she have nightmare about it?)** about it and she is very haunted and depressed**(ya we figured that on are own...again)**. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger**(...)**. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )**(so all the Slytherin's are Satanist? Wow i.m suprised your not on some sort of hit list)**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.**(cue the dramatic music)**

Everyone gasped.**(o.o)**

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me.**(I guess she forgot to tell us that she changed the POV, because it sounds like she's angry at herself)** I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony)**(ok...)** for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker.**(is it just me or does he sound like one of those stereotypical prep?)** We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)**(why is everyone in this story gothic, my life wasn't the easiest and I didn't turn into a strereotypical goth or emo)**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed.**(wow someone's a little drama queen _*sing-song voice*_**I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest**(maybe she'll get lost :))** where I had lost my virility**(did she just write virility...well I guess that explains why she got and 'erection' in the last chapter)** to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.**(burst into tears...I was hoping that it would be into flames but ok)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox!**(I think she lived in a box if she can't even write books properly and we kinda figured you didn't with that advance writing style you wouldn't be able to follow the series** dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers!**(yes it is your fault you're the one that wrote the damn part, I watched the movies and he never swore)** besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE!**(YOUR GIVING ME A HEADACHE)**and da reson snap**(snap crackel and pop)** dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian**(ok then)** and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!**(cool random words again SHIT AND LOG)**

I was so mad and sad.**(Like all of your viewers)** I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me.**(how can he cheat on you when they were together before you guys)** I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.**(how did she find the tree?)**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick!**(wait...everything was flying towards you on a broomstick, don't you mean he was flying towards you on a broomstick...I"m pretty sure he never flew on one to begin with. He does that the whole floating thing)** He didn't have a nose **(ya you already mention that, maybe you should check if he lost it between the sofa cushion's I always find things there)**(basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic.**(ah damn, here I was getting my hopes up)** It was… Voldemort!**(dum dum dummmm)**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.**(great now it's time to get rid of her)**

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him**(ahaha I can imagine that spell know...a big angry cat flying out of her wand and attaching itself to his face with his claws)**. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him **(whose side are you on here?)**even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.**(so much for being a sadist)**

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"**(I know that he's old but he wasn't born during the renaissance)**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden.**(ok then, she has the attention span of a gnat)** I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand**(not suprised there hun, a coconut can confuse you)** so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?**(wow so now it clicks in, kinda slow)**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.**(why does he have a gun with him?)**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"**(why does she sound smarter when she writes in old enlgish?)**

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded**(ugh I loooove that face so sexy)** look on his face. "I hath telekinesis."**(the ability to move objects with your mind, wrong power)** he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.**(how do you fly away angrily, you can have a pissed off look on your face but still)**

I was so scared and mad**(ahh those two feelings again)** I didn't know what to do.**(buy a brain at dollarama might not last long but hey atleast there's something to fill in that huge hole)** Suddenly Draco came into the woods.**(so now were doing random appearances...oh look Dr. Phil just walked in)**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation**(what's your obsession with that stuff, and why is he wearing that, he's pale enough as it is)** and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)**(how do you put eyeliner to make it look like a pentagram, and ya sadly I do get it)** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.**(all humanity was cheated upon when you arrived)**

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.**(walking and making out at the same time can be dangerous, you might risk draco's life by falling into the lake or soemthing, why would you risk his life like that why? why?)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

AN: stup it u gay fags**(hey look we're gay fags now!)** if u donot lik ma story den fukk off!**(people might like reading this because them feel better, a good laugh, getting a brain aneurysm)** ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil**(racist against vampires I see, better watch out)** datz y dey movd houses ok!

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day**(don't be so selfess he's probably crying under a rock because he had to talk to you...does that sound a little mean?)**. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666**(great she's in a band now, with a sucky name)**. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar**(I wonder what kinf of singer she is? scary thought isn't it)**. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR**(of course you guys do)**. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo**(but why, is it that hard to stick with the original names?)** now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists**(why is that the solution for everything, jesus your making me depresse)** (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire**(when did that happen?)** too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that)**(ok...what's going to happen? will you burst into flames or something, and spelling it is ok I see)** or a steak**(medium or well done?)**) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.**(I've seen more depressing movies than that come on expand over the horizon abit will ya)** I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.**(no the thought remains the same, with a few other things too)**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust**(heh you bust into tears, ok it might just be an innocent mistake but with the grammar in this story is horrible t begin with)** into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted**(a voice that carried out ya that sounds ok)** voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.**(yay hide and go seek, but still really random though)**

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)**(yes, yes it is still out of character)**

I started to cry and cry**(and so did I)**. Draco started to cry too all sensitive**(still out of character I just love how you made him into the biggest wuss that ever walked the planet)**. Then he ran out crying.**(and there's my proof)**

We practiced for one more hour.**(kinda got over that quickly)** Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.**(hmmm maybe it's a migraine this time)**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely**(how do you cry out wisely? it's like saying I cried out mathematically)**. (c dats basically nut swering**(wasn't even a swear word in there to begin with)** and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."**(because she didn't tell him that Voldemort wants her to kill Harry, wait I mean Vampire? And isn't he a vampire now, they can't commit suicide but slitting their wrist, but that is how all your characters solve their problems)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz!**(you might as well stop writting that cause we get the point by now)** c if dis chaptr is srupid**(oh I have a feeling it will be)**!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus!**(like the grammar right...?)** sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **(wow, what's wrong with her trying to help you, I wouldn't but wow)**and I ran to my room crying myself**(so little miny YOU were coming out of your eyes, let the nightmares begin)**. Dumbledore chased after me**(when I imagine Dumbledore running I can't help but giggle)** shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.**(or a worried adult)**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood**(ahh that's going to leave a stain, and did you cry blood when you ran into the forest?)** and then I slit both of my wrists.**(why am I not suprised)** They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily**(now now you could slip and fall like that)** while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak**(Yum, I'm kinda hungry now)** and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide**(didn't draco slice his wrist open and before that you said you can only be killed by a 'steak' to the heart and a c-r-o-s-s?)**. I was so fucking depressed!**(other kinds of emotions out there, pick a new one please)** I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly**(what's sandly?)**. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it.**(believe what that you can't commit to something)** Then I looked out the window and screamed¼ Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape**(muggle things don't work at Hogwarts, and I highly doubt Snape would spy on you. Someone's a little full of themselves, and is he just floating there?)** of me! And Loopin was masticating**(that can't be pretty, you do know that masticating means to chew right? And why is Lupin there, with Snape of all people)** to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.**(ahh k that makes more sense and kinda dangerous, multi tasking is a hard thing to do when flying on a broomstick)**

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED**(aren't you dress or is it the case of the disappearing clothes again)**! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel**(ya I would hide what you're wearing to, you don't want them to fall of now do you)** with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire**(how did he hear you?)** ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!"**(Wrong it's avada kedavra, I wouldn't mind killing this story with that spell)** he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb**(now there's a trick I didn't see coming, really disturning too)**. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times**(over reacting much)** and they both started screaming and the camera broke.**(NOO not the camera!)** Suddenly, Dumblydore**(hehe funny, would he still be seen as a perv though)** ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly¼**(I feel really lost at the moment)**

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.**(he ran outside on his broom...seems like someones lazy or the author doesn't know how to write...i'll go with the second one)**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"**(he's around the same age as Voldemort -_-)**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT¼." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"**(Because that fixes everything in live)**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."**(how is he still alive?)**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"**(good work wolf boy, you deserve a treat)**

I felt faint,**(maybe you should slice your wrist again, it might make you feel better)** more than I normally do**(so it happens often, I guess that's what happens when your head's empty)** like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.**(or lose too much blood)**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook**(hehe clook nice typo)**.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him**(don't you just hate when that happens)**. I did not know whether to feel shocked**(zap zap zap)** and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.**(attention span of a gold fish I see)**

"BECAUSE¼BECAUSE¼." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly**(why dramatically, doesn't seem like that much of a dramatic moment)**, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped**(what?)** he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.**(wonder what that sounds like)**

"Because you're goffic?"**(God I hate that word)** Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.**(so everybody whose gothic are connected with satan, that's really insulting and I'm not even gothic)**

"Because I LOVE HER!"**(HMM I wonder who yelled that)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo**(I thought he was a student at hogwart's, make up your mind girl)** 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu**(that pedo's go to your school?)**! how du u no snap iant kristian**(cause he's a wizard I don't really think any of them follow that religion or any for that matter)** plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric**(so he randomly came back from the dead and screamed that ok then)** ok!

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists**(your a vampire you idiot it doesn't affect you in anyway)**. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID**(why is his name capitalised)** were there too. They were going to St. Mango's**(I love that place, it's right beside St-Jalapeno school for underage peppers)**after they recovered cause they were pedofiles**(didn't she shoot them like a bazillion times? maybe she missed) **and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz.**(and I bet you're one of them)**Dumbledore had constipated**(ouch, I know he's an odd ball but ouch)** the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.**(did you poke yourself in the eye while you did that?)**

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses."Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink**(and your coffin is lined with it and you wear it almost all the time)** anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps**(ya I highly doubt that Hagrid's a prep)** like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.**(didn't you meet him a second ago, didn't he also say that he was GOFFIC)**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."**(hmm poisonous gaz filled bombs)**

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?"**(oh and now he's a poser)** I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.**(just be thankful he broght you some in the first place)**

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video**(you were sitting in the bath with a steak close to your heart, that's not a porno vid)** made from your shower**(you were taking a bath)** scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED**(no you still wrote it wrong)** (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye**(poisonous gaz bombs away)** and muttered _Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! _.

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.**(wisely...I wouldn't go that far)**

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "_Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio**(do you know what I got from that Petulus=with white feet, merengo=nothing, mi=mine/my, kremicli=nothing and romancio=nothing)**(_4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute!**(not much of a tribute was it)** specially for raven I love you girl!_)imo noto okayo!_"**(imo=international maritime organization, noto=a city in sicily and okayo=nothing)**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black.**(BLACK FLAMES ya we got that thank you, the sun was yellow and floating in the air and it was YELLOW)** Now I knew he wasn't a prep.**(is he goffic now)**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"**(forgot that you killed him off)**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.**(that's what happens when someone looks into your ear. they see nothing)**

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT)**(HAHAHAHA Not Funny!)** u mst find urslf 1st, k?**(that's going to take a while, I feel a sequel coming along)**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid**(OCC)** yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache**(ya because he always has a headache)** or else he would have said something back.

Hairgrid**(ugh that's an ugly mental picture)** stormed off back into his bed.**(is he in the infirmary also...why, what happened to him)** "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"**(bad BAD professor)**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it.**(could you send me the whole list of your wardrobe like I mentioned before, so I don't have to read this all the time)** There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them**(on the boots?o.O)**. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring**(or the grudge, have you been spending time in a well also?)** (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!)**(I'm not goth, emo, jock, or a prep and I know who she is, I'm sure some poeple didn't watch that movie it's not a bad thing and it doesn't mean your a prep...tobe honest I didn't like it all that much)** and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.**(you put black lip gloss over you lipstick...wh?)**

"You look _kawai**(forgot another 'i' at the end, ya)**_, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit)**(sighs)** you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood.**(omg confiscate all pointy object please she's getting on my last nerves, whose that depressed)** I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time.**(do these shades have special magical invisibily powes?)** I went to some classes.**(skipper)** Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures.**(did you bring your shaver, and wax strips?)** He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared**(he disappeared now?)** and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.**(...alrighty then, i'm just going to walk away)**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually**(too lazy ... whatever that word is)** said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eye**(contacts, their cantacts right, contacts)**so much like Dracos. Then¼¼¼ we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.**(...never happened to me... someones a whore)**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS**!(stupid ignorant foolish people)"** shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.**(well what did you expect)**

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!"**(YOU JUMPED ON HIM TOO...I so confused, does she forget what she's doing al the time)** I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!"**(the thunderbolt or the pentagram?)** and then¼.. his eyes rolled up!**(rolled back into his head, his eyes aren't something that can't roll up)** You could only see his red whites.**(wet wipes...maybe that's what she ment cause red white's doesn't make sense)**

"NO!" I ran up closer.**(HEY personal bubble)**

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.**(wasn't it you that said that there was a scar)**"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation**.(sounds manly, couldn't he just hide it with his hair?)"** he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco¼¼¼¼¼.Volfemort has him bondage!"**(UGH there goes my brain, I need bleach stat...ya draco wearing girly leather his arms and legs tied up above him with with a ball in his mouth and don't get me started on what Voldemorts wearing)**


	13. Chapter 13

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!**(Why are you yelling at her?)**11111111**(333333333)**

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I**(...use the phone for God sake)**

**Chapter 13**

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory**(ya i'd be sorry too)** ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom!**(someones a cleptomaniac)** PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!**(Only if you stop writting)**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.**(ya he is a pretty scary guy)**

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!"**(...first time you got it right, second time not so much)** we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.**(ew, sorry dirty mind)**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.**(mayeb he needs an advil or something)**

"Volsemort**(is that his sidekick like batman and robin)** has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.**(wow you guys can be twins)**

He laughed in an evil voice.**(laugh in an evil voice?...is it normal when someones twitches on the floor...no...oh better call 911 then)**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.**(maybe he likes the new fetish)**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony."**(oooh pay back)** he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)**(weren't you homophobic a while ago)**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood.**(bring him to the hospital or did you turn him into a vampire without telling us)** Then he had a brainstorm.**(that must of been loud)** "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.**(ah poor thing lost it, look under your shoe's quick...got my IQ is slipping as we speak...there goes my dreams of teaching english as a second language, maybe i'll just be the next TARA GILLESPIE TO WALK AMOUNG THIS SITE)**

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!**(wow what kind of spell was that?)**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice**(alright a croon voice maes sense but not the way you wrote it, you can make a dictionary cut himself and burst into flames)** say. "Allah**(really, isn't that a Muslum version of God?)** Kedavra!" It was….. Voldemort!**(who did you expect to find at his LAIR, maybe you expected to see a dancing giraffe with long purple fur with extra eyes, ya that sounds about right)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen.**(by doing what chucking a cement block at you?)** im sory ah kudnt update**(we're not complaining)** but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.**(imitating your characters I see, your parents must be so proud of you)** PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god **(we can't pretend to be god, he wouldn't spend his time reading this nightmare to begin with)**revoiws!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY.**(grammar, story plot, character butching, what else?)** VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.**(yes tell your parents about this rated R story)**

We ran to where Volcemort was.**(why run towards the deranged man)** It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there.**(...did you see him a second ago in the last chapter, and then you guys ran towards him and now he's not there...is there a speck of dirt on your glasses)**Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was**(atleast you know how to spell his name now)**. Draco was there crying tears of blood**(quick give him black kleenex...I don't want him to stain the white ones)**. Snaketail**(wrong animal)** was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.**(smart)**

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!"**(so he's asking you to turn him blind? is that it, well strip naked and he will)** he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he**(the gun he what? and btw you guys are wizards some spells are more affective then a damn bullet)** Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes**(so much for not turning into a Mary Sue)**. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)**(well then that messes up the ENTIRE Novel)**

"Huh?" I asked. "Enoby**(how can you mess up your own characters name?)** I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard."**(there's no need to put the word fuck in a sentence that many times)** I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.**(quick get a plug)**

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around.**(does that remind you of a chicken who got his head cut off?)** Then he fell down and died.**(if you think about it, if you got stabbed in the heart you woulfn't be able to run around like that)** I brust into tears sadly.**(sadly as in you didn't mean to, and why... I thought you hated him?)**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort.**(ah the shakespearen voldemort is still here)** Then… he started coming!**(OMG RUN..towards the cliff he won't follow you over that)** We could hear his high heels **(never knew he wore high heels, doesn't seem like that kind of guy...wouldn't be that feared if he did wear some)**clacking to us.**(damn it gave him away)** So we got on our broomsticks**(where did those come from?)** and we flew to Hogwarts.**(in England, North Pole, Africa or Scotland?)** We went to my room.**(short sentences like that are extremely confusing and pathetic)** Vampire went away. There I started crying.**(ugh it's like talking in this sort of way 'I went to the mall. I paid for something. Got lost. Depressed. Slit wrists. Dead. Tomb stone...Did you know there's also a thing called 17 reasons not to slit your wrist by. Micheal Moore)**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw.**(I guess Voldemort wasn't a satisfying screw) **He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah)**(a six pack you mean? and I know guys who don't really have some and there sexy too)** and a really huge you-know-what and everything.**(still can't say the word or words I see what a pity and what's the everything stand for, muscle, hair, teeth come on give us a hint)**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded.**(you produced that responce, that what yielded stands for you know)** "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here**(wow someone's conceited, get the eggs)** except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."**(I have a feeling you're not that pretty to begin with)**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts**.(-_- I.m starting to really hate your stereotypes Tara)"** answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me!**(jesus christ, how full of yourself can one person get)** Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me!**(but he's dead)** I just wanna be with you ok Draco!**(no one's stoping you, you don,t have to be with them, freedom of choice is an option)** Why couldn't Satan**(leave him out of this)** have made me less beautiful?"**(I could do something to fix it, just need to get a bit of supplies but i'm sure all those FLAIMING PREPS would like a piece of you)** I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty)**(so she's delusional?)** "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.**(ya that's not Mary Sue to the max is it...and runing away again, why can't you just get lost somewhere or fall into a hole)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz!**(you'd bleed to death if you did that)** fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"**(no dracon run the other way RUN)**

But I was too mad.**(..I actually forgot why she's mad at him, or is she jsut randomly mad at him?)**

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!"**(probably a better fuck than you )** I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key.**(couldn't you just say that you slammed the door shut, I never closed a door with a blood red key, you can lock it maybe but not close it)** It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire.**(I opened a pic of marylin manson a picture of draco and harry...how does he remind you of them.)** I started to cry and weep.**(that must be hard to do at the same time)** I took a razor and started to slit my wrists.**(bad reviews?)** I drank the blood all depressed.**(you drank it depressingly...I might start doing that now too)** Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.**(there's not biology clas at Hogwarts)**

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters.**(you do know you're going to a boarding school that it's maditory to wear a uniform, what makes you so special...I'm stick wearing a ugly uniform at my shcool and I would get in shit if I dress differently)** I put my ebony black hair out**(was it on fire)**. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual.**(yes as usual, go see a dr.)**I did sum advanced Biology work.**(OH I'm sure you did, Quick how many chambers is there in a human heart name them all and what they do you have...60 SECONDS)** I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar.**(ok then, why can't I do that?)** Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!**(the guitar turned to draco, so it moved his body towards him or it turned into draco... because both statements make absolute sense, so wizards can be an animagus and instromagus better keep and eye on that drum set)**

"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly.**(he seems kinda stalkerish, poor thing look at what you turned him into)** "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink**(it's think...think...like THINK before you write something like this story for example)**. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world.**(Lying and Vanity are both Sins, just putting it out there)** Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time.**(ya I highly doubt that, sure being a follower of Voldemort can be tough but Ebony, Enoby whatever your name is, you're not taht special)** Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!."**(what's with the need to put fucking in pratically evey chapter and sentences)** Then…. he started to sing**(cool it's a musical now)** "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it)**(I can imagine that scene right now...like one of those cheezy romance films...looking into each others eyes, firesworks exploding behind us as Joel's voice is heard in the back ground..ya there goes my lunch)** right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson**(how can someone sound like a mix of 5 people...fine I bet you sound like a mix bewteen: Miss Piggy, Janice from Friends, Gilbert Gottfried, Fran Drescher and Pee Wee Herman)** (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!).**(Someones' a BITCH)**

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us**(...were they looking at you with a ..happened look or '. look?)** but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now)**(you make it sound like you have more then one middle finger on one hand, and I don't care what color of nail polish you're wearing and if your hands are entwine together)**at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch)**(then why use her as an example idiot)** and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands.**(maybe he's bringing you to a loony bin)** Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether.**(...um ah I don't know what to say about that, wow the bitch left me speechless)** Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then.**(Wow ADD much, and again why is a muggle band playing in the wizarding world, come on girl think for god sakes)** We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.**(hmm I thought that it would be sold out)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz!**(how can we prove that we aren't preps over the computer and not to mention you think everybody are preps to begin with...we can always gang up and find out where you live but ya...)** BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!**(great give her another language to fail in... and learning one word isn't teaching someone to speak Japanese)** & 2 Raven, i so fukn miss u. cum bak plez!1 I cunt liv wifut u.**(...this site isn't used for those LOST PET signes you find outside...maybe she doesn't want to be found..or here's a crazy thought...CALL HER!)**

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"**(...didn't you two make up a while ago...like in the last chapter and you guys were planning on going to the concert like just a second ago...it's like a goldfish with ADD and Dementia)**

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted**(I think you meant fidgeting...how do you gadgetted uncomfortably...and how did you mix up gadgetted up with fidgeting)** uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.**(my guy friends wants to know what you mean...how dare you confuse him...he's slow enough already why make it worse)**

"Yeah cause we you know!" **(WAIT WHAT?)**I yielded**(who possessed you?)** in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." **(do what, come on it's sharing time. TELL ME!)**Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT**(AHA that can mean prostitute too)**."

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina**(Did he join the varsity cross dressing team...DON'T JUDGE)** or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.**(how can someone do that?)**

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.**(yes because it just happens like that)**

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.**(ya only in your dreams, time to wake up)**

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.**(just like that...)**

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese**(no it means nice to meet you)**). "BTW that fucking poser dumbledorf gt willow expuld.**(suspended or expelled)** he clamd dat she failed al her klasses and dat she skepped math.**(would that be arithmancy, why would he do that? It doesn't sound like him...well nothing in this story stays true to the novel but still)** i so wll fukn miss her." (an: RAVEN CUM BAK!1)**(CALL HER OR SEND HER AN EMAIL...or you know take a walk)**

"Sam", i sed.**(is that a new character with a normal name?)**

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas**.(Favorite movie and sure it's somewhat depressing but not to that limit you idiot)"**Maybe Willow will die too."**(...what you want her to die now, what for?)** I said.

"Kawai."**(how is that cute...and missing an 'i' there)** B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly**(those two words together do not make sense what so ever)**. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."**(...why the random murder, what is wrong with your freaking head girl? and he's a necphilak, open google for once in your life and type the word to make sure you wrote it right along with his name)**

"Kawai." I commnted happily**(yes murdering someone is extremly cute)** . We talked to each other in silence**(you guys talked in silence your full of contradictions aren't you)** for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr."**(to see MCR not with)** I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."**(garbage back with turnips stapled to it and a head piece filled with bugs and frogs...yup that sounds very sexy)**

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. **(why is half of that capitalised)**"Omfg totally lets go shopping."**(someone sounds preppy)**

"In Hot Topic, right?" **(there's no hot topic in England...Scotland wherever you are at the moment and especially not in the wizarding world)**I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty**(not very loyal to your brain cells are ya)** carde.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"**(maybe she is, shhh it's a secret)**

"NOOOO!NOOOO!"**(no reason to yell or capitalise that)** She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all."**(sure ya did)**

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.**(lol forgot that you might of told her something...and why does it soudn like a bad thing?)**

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."**(he might be odd but I doubt that he knows where gothic clothing can be found)**

"OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.**(OMFG...apperently)**

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk."**(there's a map for that place, it didn't seem to big to begin with)** She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE**(maybe there's clones walking around)** and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."**(and you're one of them I doubt it, I'm suprised you didn't get killed by some yet)**

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.**(ya I was confused when he said that, don't feel bad)**

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man!**(cool a surfer dude, '' how's it hangin' Brah !''** Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch."**(does that even exist?)** He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."**(are they suppose to announce it to the world when they buy a camera?)**

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!"**( I still think that the reason they were there in the first place was a miscalculation on their part, or mabye YOU SHOULD STOP TAKING DRUGS!)** I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.**(atleast she was dress right...)**

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.**(set the dogs on her now NOW rid the world of this parasite that will swallow us hole we'll il'll die DIE DIE I SAY!...was I being to dramatic there?)**

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.**(ya distract him)**

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit.**(not faire, maybe i'll try that tonight...keep an eye out for the most wanted :P )** Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.**(PFF POSER...see I can do it too)**

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him**(didn't you run out of the store)**. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA**(was that tara there before? I didn't bother to pay attention)** way what's yours?"

"Tom Rid."**(that's a huge difference...PS because your last name is Rid...GET RID OF HER. i'll help *.zap* electric eel is ready for go)** He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair.**(why can't people have there normal hair color)** "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako**(forgot your BF name?)** you sick perv**!(how is that being a sick perv he didn't ask you out...just loosely said i might see you there)"** I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY**(ebondy...sounds like a nice place to visit)** U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"**(perfect she's falling into my trap BWUAHAHAHAH!)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo**(does her writting remind of a game...let's say Mad Gab?)**! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage.**(it's shows what kind of person they are on your hompage...that might explain the random words like Troll or Goblin...they sound like nice people)** if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK**(ha it's the guy from distric 9)** UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!**(she's mad at you for stealing a poster or putting het name as your beta that corrects your work...ya i'd blame you to)**

**(Did I miss a chapter or something...when did Tom get into the picture?)**

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free.**(oh I see she just messed up her character's name again oops..thank for that -_-)** He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual**)(well atleast he's not gay, cause for you that's a horrible thing).** Hargird kept shooting**(ouch that must hurt...keep doing it hagrid)** at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard."**(fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that's all i keep hearing from you)** Well anyway Willow came**(i thought she was murdered...maybe that's why you couldn't find that friend of your's raven or something)**. Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey bitch you look kawaii**(ahh the long lost 'i')**." she said.

"Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy**(thingy that's descriptive)** with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red**(black blood red hmm, the long lost eminem)** miniskirt, leather fish-nets**(does that exist?)** and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.**(that's suppose to be a compliment?)**

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.**(so now you want to, alright guys let's see if she's going to change her mind)**

"I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2**(Imperius curse...I bet 20 bucks that's what it is)**. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666'**(so not 555 or 777 or even 665?)** on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson.**(i don't mean to offend anyone that likes marylin manson, i never listened to any of songs but i don't find him that attractive)** Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel**(bellybutton poke the pillsbury doe boy...TEHEE)** but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires**(is he related to hermione or..is it B'loody?)**. They dyed in a car cras crash.**( was teh truck they hit filled with steak and c-r-o-s-s-e-s?)** Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth**(so every gothic are satanist lovely...better lock your door tonight)**. He was in Slitherin now.**(wasn't aware that you can change houses)** He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now.**(can i get a nickname? how bout...hmm...Zombie RkKJFSHAIh OFRihda...ya that sounds good)** Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik)**(going into a car means your goffic?)** that his dad Lucian**(ya might as well change all the character's name...is he the guy from underworld?)** gave him. We did pot, coke and crak.**(I did brick, pencil and dry wall)** Draco and I made out.**(more demerit points)** We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps.**(i guess that missile i launched didn't hit them)** We soon got there….I gapsed.**(YES I HIT IT)**

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix.**(are you sure you were looking at a picture of him and not a dust bunny)** He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny**(anorexic?)** and he had n amazing ethnic**(culture, religion, race, language...never knew that was a kind of singing voice...i love learning new things)** voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask.**(AHHH)** So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes**(AHAHAHA Voldemort preppy holly crap i think i just shit out my organs hold on a sec...)**... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!**(I gotta a flush what do you guys have...a wand...ok guess you win)**

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"**(i wanna picture him in green tights and tunic with a skull in his hand quoting shakespeare)**

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.**(did he lose his wand?)**

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair**(hairy lunds oi that's not a good thing)** and a looong black bread**(man's hair dye cover's grey hair)**. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back.**(WHAT? not MCR or GC, that's complete bullshit. MEH!)** He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away.**(trip trip trip... you might as well apperate to your destination Vold Man)** It was…DUMBLYDORE!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep!**(broken record broken recond broken rec. rec. rec...damn it broke)** fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!**(i swear and i'm not gothic and i don't swear when i have a headache either...cause my head hurts why make it worse)**

I woke up the next day in my coffin.**(damn it she came out, didn't dig the hole deep enough)** I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.**(*.cric-* see even the crickets don't want to continue)**

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth**(i think she meant meth, that might explain things)**). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away**(with a frying pan)**. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom.**(why do you have to describe your broom to us?)** We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)**(wow only did it for 4 minutes)**

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. **(how can you find the tables if there's not candles or light, maybe you could've mention something...people might start to wonder) **But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant**(i wonder why pants are in the great hall)**. And there were pastors**(did they get kidnap or just wondered there)** of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets**(did she yell that because of the posters? or something else...and why did the great hall change in the first place)**. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong.**(that sounds like the most boring conversation i've ever read or...partially read)** The boys joined in cause they were bi.**(hmmm is everyone in hogwarts bi now?)**

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel**(thought you changed his name to Dracula...or maybe you should get his original name correct say it together NEVILLE)** was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came.**(what was the everything?)** He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation**(i don't think foundation can cover tan skin, well not enough to be really pale)** and he had died his hare black.**(he dyed his rabbit black poor thing)**

"...DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped.**(ya we figured out it was him a while ago)**

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"**(Wrong...spell it again)**

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"**(nothing makes sense anymore T_T)**

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1.**(ya cause I can imagine gryffindor cheering for that in the first place...and what makes him a poser? I thought you would've like it...and to be honest I think you're the biggest poser that walk on the face of the earth)**

"BTW you can call me Albert." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.**(what no weird name just plain albert)**

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation**(maybe to get a .a ...what else?)**. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard)**(ugh god my brains about to leak out of my ear)** but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.**(i think he passed that phase already...and why is she screaming?)**

I was so fucking angry.**(hmm not something new...are you going to run away, cut yourself, or cry, scream at someone that is possibly a pedo in your eyes)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I know this might sound mean but does anyone else get the empression she wrote with only one side of the keyboard or maybe just slammed her head against it to make this story? If not well you got a mental picture of it, hope you giggled or even laugh more than I did.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok**(Jealous of what? that they lost there brain cells reading this and you got to keep them in a jar)**!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert**(I liked teh Voldie D. Mort version better)**. It had been postphoned**(a concert over a phone that sounds boring)**, so we could all go.**(so they prosponed it just for you?)**

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes.**(why would that be sad, if you didn't want to then you shouldn't of done it)** Draco was being all secretive.**(maybe he has a diary now)**

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).**(difference between too sensiteve and over sensitive...like crying when asked what's wrong... you ruined a perfectly good character...ya you better stand there in shame.)**

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.**(why did you change his hair, i loved the bleach blond on him)** He was wearing black baggy paints**(can't afford pants poor boy)**, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)**(i didn't though was that a spelling mistake cause she wrote tie the right way but she wrote black die...)** I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing.**(what?)** My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)**(or you can youtube the vid...actually get her email and send her preppy things)**

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.**(we do accuse you...place you hand on this bible that might burn your hand, and swear to god that you are telling the truth...'is this story real, or do you just have a sense of humor that i can't categories as funny or sad)**

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.**(that's what harry said)**

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.**(in here words...EW not like that)**

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.**(what? what? was he doind something or ... what? explain please)**

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door.**(turn the doornob or use your wand to open a lock door, come on you learnt it in first year, Alohomora)** I whipped and whepped**(maybe that's why you're crying you're whipping yourself and as for whepped ya that word doesn't exist from what i can tell)** as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for _Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video_**!)(i was more thinking that your song would be the funeral march or most wanted music video of you because you destroyed a good book).** I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.**(BRAIN CELLS BRAIN CELLS)**

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.

"You gave me a fucking shock!"**(BWAHAHA carpet, zap! zap! zap!)** I shouted angrily dropping my pot.**(did it have a weed plant in it)** "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"**(maybe it's co ed)**

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.**(holy crap... I did not see that coming)**

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. "What are u wearing to the concert?"**(hmm a purse huh, i see...and a wannabe one too...pauvre pays quelle demeure dedans)**

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped**(does it stand for Mentally Crippled Reviewers)**

**"**No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."**(that he's a really good actor and that he never liked you or that he never NEVER was that sensitive, don't make me pray over something like this God will be pissed)**

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><p><strong>PS. If it seems like I'm running out of funny things to say, it might be somewhat true, I seemes like it just comes and goes. Not to mention you know that it's going to be a long day when you look at the new chapter and read the first paragraph knowing you already want to drop on the floor and die. But for you guys it's going to be my mission to make this story tolerable for you guys and to make you laugh, so please bare with me :)<strong>

**Bonsoir et Merci!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz**(only three days that sucks i would've stayed there for a week or two)** so dnot expect updatz.**(good god she's going after poor dracula, i can see it now, damn it's too late to give him a warning T_T)**

All day I wondered what the surprise was.**(that this is all a horrible horrible nightmare)** Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots.**(ugh t sounds like she's dressing up as mrs frankenstein monster..nah even he has way better taste)** MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one**(what happen to the ministry law that says you can't let muggles know about the wizarding world?)**. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night,**(how can you mosh in your own bedroom? and why are you cutting your wrists again?)** feeling excited.**(ya doing that gives you a big adrenaline rush, WOOO HOOO)**

Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom.**(still moshing...what if someone walked in...they'd wonder alot of things, not that they don't already...not to mention you're doing that while trying on clothes so sad)** I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.**(why can't you make up your freakin' mind wether you ike him or not, it's given me whiplash and a migraine and like dumbledore i'll probably start swearing)**

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin! "R u gonna cum rape me or what."**(ya because that's the kind of character he is, it's sad that this story is making** **see red, if i need medical attention it's on you head)** I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.**(ya that's right aggravate the so called pedo's, because that won't piss them off...hey maybe he just wants to borrow a camera)**

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell)**(yes it's hilarious when you butcher the english language and you think it's the most amazing thing in the world)** kan I plz burrow sum condemns**.(HA that's actually a word, condemns mean: express complete disapproval, makes sense I guess)"** he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.**(ugh she ruined the thing that i'm best at 'sarcasm')**

"Fuker." He said, gong away.**(hey safe sex)**

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation**(again with the white foundation, does she own a mirror or not?)**. Then I went. Den I gasped**(then i ate . then i got up, your english teacher must love correcting your work)**….Snake**(what happened to snap or snape)** and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1**(why is dobby there in the first place? and i thought you hated gay people?)**

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me.**(why would they yell that, especially that word are they channeling Ludacris himself?)** Dobby ran away crying.**(my friends still finds that funny)** Dey got up, though.**(well thank god)**

Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it)**(...i bet they don't like it, thanks for that...random)** but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)**(OMG who isn't now? i wouldn't be suprised if you moved voldemort and the death eather's there too)**

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)**(ya the only thing you spelt right probably)**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.**(what did you think when he asked you for them, that he wanted to make balloon animals?)**

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily**(does he have a gun too)**. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.**(so it's not one of those random picture camera where you take a picture of a tree and you get a gorilla wearing a tutu and dancing hip hop)**

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"**(blackmailing professor's..some one has a death wish 'she said sarcastically, sadistically, happily, joyfully, sing songy etc etc etc)**

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me**(why would they rat you out, you can do whatever you want)** out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it.**(...so much for defense spells -_- is she even a witch or vampire?)** Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him.**(hiding, one of his many talents...if you cna make things up i can too)**

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed. "U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?"**(yup hiding good job pretty boy)**

Then….. he showed me his flying car**(then...i saw a banana eating a goat with rainbows flying out of is ears and leprechaun playing the flute while dancing around them and a random person floating in the back shaking his head while poking chop sticks in his ears repeatedly...)**I gasped. It was a black car.**(Holy Merlins hairy eyebrows!)** He said his dogfather**(ahaha funny)** Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said 'ENOBY'**(two different license plate tsk tsk he didn't even write your name right...i also forgot draco's license plate thing but i have a feeling it's the same as harry's)** on it.

….I gasped.**(i slammed my head on the key board...edl;thioiw4qoeriyghatu2390ajsf;lk)**

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik.**(that's a dangerous hobby you have there and addiction you're moshing everywhere)** I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim.**(never happened to me before what kind of drugs are you on, there not my favorite but ya he's cute but not my taste)** Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah**(ugh that reminds me of cartman from south park. bleh)** beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ….And den, I heard some crrying.**(maybe it's your parents)**

I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner.**(ugh does he have a leak or something?)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong**(spelt what wrong every word known to man)** ok koz dat bich ravern**(what did she do to piss you off...did she find out that you were using her saying that she was correcting you're work...when that seriously was not the case)** cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help**(god it's like draco and ebony's relationship all over again, just a second ago you were pissed at her)**. btw transilvana rox hrad!**(ya cause you just lefy)**1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!**(sand castle doesn't count HA GET COUNT AS IN COUNT DRACULA...see i can do that too)**

Later we all went in the skull.**(is that a pub?)** Draco was crying in da common room. "Draco are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.**(how do you sound gothic?)**

"No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily**(ya that's right yell at her...just don't cry on run away)**. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way.**(ahh spoke too soon, but wait...he ran away in a suicidal way, **I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly. "Ill make him feel better."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face**(first scar face now pail face now that's just mean)**. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone**(please not that I don't mean to offend anyone by this, alright...do ya when I imagine a homophone picture a really and i mean REALLY gay guy as your ring tone)** den fuk of!)

And then….. we herd sum footsteps!**(it's probably just a ghost foot hopping around nothing to worry about)** Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke**(well atleast your drug is invisible)**. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris**(ahh the cat had a sex change and species change)** there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.**(Lumos would be better...but cats can't have wands)**

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth**(WRONG it's Filch..and he's the caretaker not a cat...god the role playing is getting creepy, I know he's emotionally attached to the cat but this is too much)** come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.

"No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" **(your not suppose to say anything dumb ass...unless you want to get caught)**Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.**(wow nice mental image, I wonder if I can say disgusting things under my breast...and if you wanted to make it clear that he said that under his BREATH you don't put this '!')**

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked**(wait he can see the cloak! that's odd just a random cloak walking around minding it's own buisness maybe he has to support his family, ya three little tea rags outside waiting for their dad.)**. Filth nodded. And then….Vampir frenched me!**(NOT THE TIME)** He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining**(what were you ruining?)** away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?"**(nah he just slit his wrists...AGAIN he's fine losing a bit of blood by the gallon never hurt anyone)**

"I guess though." Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin)**(ya sure people might die but it doesn't look like that depressing of a movie, I don't know about you but I like getting nibbled on by a giant alligator)** on the gothic red bed together. **(what no coffin)**As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now.**(ouch your eyes rolled up...so you're seeing the present that's not a vision more like a web cam experience)** There was a knok on the door and Fug**(Pug)** and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1

* * *

><p>All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic.<strong>(Something doesn't seem right...I can not put my finger on it hmmm. Great I getting <em>miserable<em> now.)** Well anyway,**(wow she got over that pretty quick)** I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door**(god I hope they don't all come with doors...I'm never going near a cemetery again.)** I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas.**(Ugh I don't want to imagine that when I'm stuck in a heat wave)** Then I gasped.**(maybe it finaly clicked that this whole story was a really bad prank on us all!)**

Standing in front of me where…. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!**(I've been away for so long that I almost forgot whose who in this never ending candy filled land of dreams)**  
>I opened my crimson eyes.<strong>(when and why did she have them closed?)<strong> Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses**(get it a band aid, those thorns are sharp you know)** all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it**(I can't picture how that looks.)** and black gothic boots that was attached to the top.**(the boots are attached to her shirt? Is that what she just wrote, man that's an inconvenience)** Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans**(is he wearing his uncle or cousins clothing again?HA imagine them wearing that, a _"gothic"_ Vernon and Dudley._)_**. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy**(With bleach blond hair or did he dye it without you telling us...or did she I don't remember)**. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich'**(apperently 'bich' is a name that means gemstone in Vietnamese) ** and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny)**(whose Jenny?)** was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it**(ya we got that from the first time we read the word RIPPED)** and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots.**(ouch, what do pointy boots look like?)** So were Crab and Goyle**(so they're wearing the same thing as darkness? wow mental picture)**. It turns out that Darkness**(so we have a new victim in this story, dear god where does she find them)**, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire**(they're all related now?)**. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too.**(i'm sure he did)** They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.**(hmm here we go with all this stuff again, I really feel bad for the image you set for people who are actually Gothic, they have my sympathies)**  
>"OMFG" I yielded<strong>(does not fit in this sentence)<strong> as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"**(they're probably thinking the exact same thing...and you seem like such a nice friend)**  
>"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said. <strong>(the story, the grammar, the story line, the characters...what else)<strong>  
>"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.<strong>(wearing leather pj's remember, it's like the bathroom scene all over again, disappearing clothing)<strong>  
>"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.<strong>(I doubt that Draco would ever say the word Kawaii, and did you guys notice that she didn't tell us what she's wearing! :) )<strong>  
>"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."<strong>(HA nice one, that's not even a word, google is getting pissed at me...but maybe she meant erection guys you know she apperently got one when she met harry) <strong>  
>"I will I will." he said.<br>So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation.**(ugh just get her a tub of white paint and dunk her head in)** Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow**(what? magical floating windows now fun.)**. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia **(I knew that there was something odd with him/her)** Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge**(I wonder if she's wearing the pepto bismol bottle) ** was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"**(well it sounds like her and she would've said something like that i suppose)**  
>"THE BARK<strong>(ya!)<strong> LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.  
>"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS<strong>(that might explain why he has an unlimited amount of lemon drops everywhere, but ya no it's insulting, my grandma has Alzheimers, not funny)<strong> IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY**(sounds like a game now or roll up the rim to win a 1. Voldie's garters, drops or 3. life supply of the ever so popular product of my invention _"Memory Bleach"_ that rids you of headaches caused by ... ANYTHING related to this story) ** OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"  
>"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this<strong>(he agrees but changes his mind I see)<strong>. We can't close the school.**(pff sounds like screw the students just save the school)** There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…..Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." **( Bum bum bummmmmm. Ya we maybe saw that coming didn't we)**  
>Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped.<strong>(bitch she forgot about me so you know... "GASP!")<strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed**(ouch that sounds like it hurts...Hogwarts Chainsaw Massacre Part 1 Dumble Dogs Revenge)** us.

"MR. WAY**(so the erection thing is still correct...she is a boy?)** WHAT THE BEEP**(looks like the FCC are censoring her potty mouth...little too late huh)** ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted**(oooh sneaky)** her. "She means hi everybody cum in!"**(yes that sounds like what she said)**

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness**(I don't remember who that is)** and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes**(like what? why did the dead chicken cross the road?)**. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo**(Valo, she can't even write her favorite artists name correctly))**. I eight**(wow, writing a three letter word is too hard now?) ** some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd**(random deer herds XD)** someone shooting angrily**(off by one letter but I can't let that slide anymore. Never did in the first place)**. I looked behind me it was¼¼¼Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.**(did they do like you and just throw the guns at each other?)  
><strong>

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked.**(did she ever mention why she changed the characters original names?)  
><strong>

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to shit next to her!1"**(...sounds romantic)  
><strong>

"No I do!" shouted.**(who shouted that..at least she spelt it properly)  
><strong>

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then¼¼¼¼¼¼**(how do you not notice that when you type?)** he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv)**(when you wrote " he jumped on him" it never crossed my mind as something perverted.)** They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden¼¼ a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick**(out of all the 7 movies he never did either of those two things... on a broomstick show up at Hogwarts)**. He had no nose**(ya we get it)** and was wearing a gray robe**(black)**. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry.**(only her...?)** Vampire and Draco stopped fighting¼**(pff they should of kept going, would've been funny)**.I shopped eating¼**(I thought she was finish? ah well not like it's an important thing in this story)**.Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent¼¼¼¼¼¼¼.Volzemort!

"Eboby¼..Ebony¼¼." Darth Valer**(WHAT?)** sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"**(still can't get over the darth vader part)  
><strong>

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely**(nope doesn't make sense)**. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.**(ha...I guess his mask is borken)  
><strong>

I bust into tears.**(she's been doing that a lot)** Draco and Vampire came to contort**(ouch.)** me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic**(...ya that's not gothic nor is it cool. what is wrong with this girl)**. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.**(what other way do you do it...)  
><strong>

"No!" I screamed sexily.**(when in doubt scream sexily)** Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up.

"Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.

"No its not!"**(so are you ok or not?)** I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"**(...ugh)**

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister**(wrong professor and wrong name)** about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.**(...gotta love the pet names they have for each other...k I'm gonna come up with a random one for her...*cough* "ok cabbage school bus road line tree"...how's that?)  
><strong>


End file.
